Coping

Surviving Seasonal Shifts for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): 5 Tips for Smooth Transitions

Transitions, changes, and shifts are all a natural and necessary part of life.  For the highly sensitive person, transitions can feel challenging, and sometimes overwhelming.  There are ways to help ease seasonal transitions, though!

As part of my own highly sensitive experience, I struggle a great deal with the heat, and the shift from summer to fall brings mixed feelings.  Many outdoor pools are closing soon, and my ability to practice grounding and connection to nature is limited in Texas with high temperatures often enduring into October or November.  On the other hand, it will eventually get cooler, opening up more opportunities for outdoor activities. 

Teachers and kids are returning to school, and routines are changing to accommodate.  Even commutes to and from work change with school zones, additional drive times, and there is more hustle and bustle in the air.  For many, vacations have come and gone, and some still feel the restorative energy from having gotten away from it all for a while.  For others, their time off or away seemed entirely too short-lived. 

I feel the shifts all around me; in nature, in people, in energies, and within my own emotional and physical experiences.  It’s a shift that I’m becoming more and more attuned with, but still struggle to predict the impact at times.  Some seasonal changes have little impact on my overall experience, but I’ve found that without awareness, attunement, and preparation, they can knock me off kilter.

Changes are difficult for highly sensitive people!  Seasonal shifts occur regularly, and though I’ve been through them time and time again, I still have to prepare if I don't want to find myself inexplicably overwhelmed.  Over the years, I’ve learned a few things that help me get through seasonal transitions a little more smoothly.

1.       Take time to attend to the shifts. 

If you’ve learned that you need a little more down time than your not-so-highly-sensitive loved ones, as many HSP’s do, transitions might require more time to recharge and regroup.  Whether your self-care includes meditation, reading, taking a nature walk, or just spending time shut in a quiet space – allow for a little extra time each day to give your system the opportunity to not only tune in to the shifts, but adjust to the transition.

2.       Attend more closely to your nutritional needs. 

You may have noticed that even minor changes in diet can have a profound impact on your physical and emotional state.  If you already know what foods result in sluggishness, higher anxiety, gastrointestinal upset, and other negative side effects, try to be even more mindful of what foods are feeding not only your physical being, but your levels of tolerance to outside stimuli, and adjust your food intake accordingly (even if it’s just temporary through the seasonal transition).

3.       Unplug.

This might be an excellent time to set limits around technological engagement.  Put your phone away, turn off the computer, and step away from the TV.  This gives you true “down time,” away from the stress.  Online browsing, video games, social media, and binge watching TV shows actually remove you from your internal and external experiences, making it more difficult to tune into your own body and mind, and less able to attend to your needs. 

4.       Avoid additional commitments.

Shifts in the environment, routines, and internal frequencies require energy.  It might be a good time to avoid overextending yourself by committing to additional work, projects, or social engagements.  If you’re a parent, student, teacher, or work seasonal jobs in the summer, then your routine will require change.  Allow the fine-tuning to occur within the necessary changes before creating more shifts when possible. 

5.       Be kind to yourself.

If you find yourself struggling more than usual, and having a hard time pinpointing a cause or solution, beating yourself up about it will not help.  Attending to your experiences in a curious and non-judgmental way will increase your ability to identify the source of struggles, and make possible solutions come more clearly and easily.  Reminding yourself that about a fifth of the population share your highly sensitive gift, can help you feel less isolated, too. 

Wishing you smooth, peaceful, and easy transition into fall.  If you find yourself struggling more than usual with the transition, reach out to friends and family who understand the unique experiences of highly sensitive people.  If you feel overwhelmed, or are interested in learning more about not only coping, but thriving as a highly sensitive person, reach out for help from someone well versed in the remarkable gifts and distinct challenges associated with living as a highly sensitive person.

For more information about highly sensitive people, visit my specialty page.

Kristen Henshaw, a Licensed Professional Counselor Intern at Counseling South Austin under the supervision of Ann Stoneson, LPC-S, specializes in counseling and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy for highly sensitive people, those wanting to recover and heal from traumatic experiences and relationships, and people struggling with dissociation.  For a gentle, respectful approach to healing, contact her for your free 30-minute consultation.

 

 

 

Coping with High Sensitivity – Holiday Edition

How are all of you fellow Highly Sensitive People coping with the holidays this year?   

I started out this holiday season struggling a bit, but took a few extra steps and adjusted a few goals and expectations of myself.  The results have been refreshing, and I’m feeling much calmer and ready for the holiday.  Yes, I am a highly sensitive person (HSP) myself, in case you wondered whether or not I could truly relate. 

Here are some tips that have helped me along the way, and that I hope will be helpful for you, as well: 

1.       Shop early, or shop online

I learned this years ago, as shopping crowds can easily overwhelm me.  I don’t go anywhere near a retail store from Black Friday to the end of the year.  If I haven’t planned ahead for the year, and haven’t finished up my holiday shopping before November, then I resort to online gift shopping.  Truly, online shopping has become my favorite way to shop in general.  Solitude, a computer, and a dog at my feet – it sure beats fighting the crowds, and helps me avoid feeling agitated from sensory overload. 

2.       Reduce your outside commitments

Say, “No, thank you!”  It’s perfectly acceptable, and healthy to set boundaries to meet your own needs.  Limit your social commitments to those you are truly comfortable with, perhaps small gatherings instead of large parties and crowded venues.  If you have to attend a boisterous holiday party, you can still set limits and boundaries.  For example, if you know that you can manage two hours, then plan to arrive a little late or leave a bit early.   

3.       For every one outside commitment, schedule one (or two) internal commitments

What do I mean by internal commitment?  This is a commitment to yourself – to nourish yourself in whatever way works best for you.  For me, this includes a quiet evening alone with a good book, or watching a movie at home with a friend.  What works best for you, and helps you recharge your batteries?  Schedule a time to attend to what nurtures you the most. 

4.       If you can, schedule travel outside of the holiday rush

I realize for some folks, this just isn’t an option, but if you CAN plan a family visit in January instead of December, it helps – especially if you have to hit an airport to get there.  If you have to travel for whatever reason, be sure to take along things that calm you in hectic and stressful environments – noise-reducing headphones, stress-relieving essential oils, or books that you can get lost in are all examples of what are helpful for me. 

5.       Communicate your needs to those close to you

Let your partner, close friends, or family members know what your limits are.  Try to develop a game plan with them so that they can help you stick to your boundaries when you have to be out and among the crowds.  You probably already know which loved ones are best at supporting your needs, so reach out to them and see if they can act as a holiday ally when you have to be in stressful situations. 

6.       Manage expectations

If you’re visiting family this season, and know that some people don’t always get along so well, it helps a bit to keep in mind that this year will probably be no different.  If you go with the expectation that everyone will get along smashingly, it creates additional stress and anxiety on you.  Instead of expecting things to be perfect, instead plan small activities or quick escapes for when you need to recharge.  Taking a brisk walk away from others is a good planned activity, as well as volunteering to do some work in the kitchen or outside away from bickering relatives.   

7.       Remember, it’s your holiday, too

While you may be more (or not so) concerned about those close to you, and whether they are having an enjoyable holiday experience – don’t forget that this is your holiday, too!  Compromise is good, but staying fully focused on whether or not those around you are having a good experience can easily ensure that your own holiday will be a less than satisfying.  If you are someone who really wants your loved ones to have a great time, it can also help to remember that a calmer, cheerier you will likely be more enjoyable to be around than the overwhelmed and agitated version of yourself.   

Whatever you decide to do, or not do - I wish you a wonderful holiday full of peace, comfort, wellness, and warmth.  ~Kristen

Kristen Henshaw, a Licensed Professional Counselor Intern at Counseling South Austin under the supervision of Ann Stoneson, LPC-S, specializes in working with highly sensitive people on a variety of issues including social anxiety, seasonal depression, and coping with feeling overwhelmed. She welcomes diversity, and practices holistic and affirming counseling for members of the LGBTQ community. Contact her for a free thirty-minute consultation.

 

Thriving as a Highly Sensitive Person

Hypersensitivity?

All my life people have told me that I’m too sensitive, too emotional, and that I take things too personally.  I have always been deeply moved by art, music, literature - and ASPCA commercials bring me to tears.  When I’m having a "hypersensitivity" moment, I often get that look from people who know me (and those who don’t) that says, “You’re odd,” “you’re broken,” or, “what’s WRONG with you?”  For a long time, I thought there WAS something wrong with me.  I felt embarrassed and ashamed of how I was – of WHO I was.  I felt weak, broken, and different.  Most of all, I felt misunderstood, hopeless, and alone.

I spent years trying to change myself – to make myself more normal, adequate, and strong.  I attempted to turn what some called my “overly emotional” tendencies into something more socially acceptable.  I tried to “pull myself up by my bootstraps,” grow thicker skin, and project stoicism.  And it seemed to work for a little while.

But something was off.  I wasn’t any happier.  My relationships weren’t more meaningful.  I didn’t feel any less alone.  I felt like I was in disguise, incognito, and more isolated than ever.  Now, not only did others misunderstand me, but eventually I didn’t ever recognize myself.  I had bought into the comments, the looks, and the judgments – and I had run out of ideas on how to conform and fix my broken self.

Hope for the HSP

Finally, while researching internet wisdom, I stumbled upon the work of Dr. Elaine Aron.  Her research found that high sensitivity, or Sensory Processing Sensitivity, is an innate and normal trait found in as much as 20% of the population.  This meant that, while I wasn’t in the majority, there was nothing wrong with me!  My high sensitivity was just part of my neural design.  It was no different than having any other genetic trait like blond hair or hazel eyes.  I was relieved!  It didn’t fix all of my unique challenges, but I wasn’t broken.

Transitioning from Coping to Thriving

An important part of my journey toward thriving as a highly sensitive person involved accepting my innate sensitivity, learning more about myself and my needs, and tending to those needs.  The following is a list of tips to help you get started on thriving as an HSP:

1.       Surround yourself with positivity.  

The highly sensitive person is much more in tune with the world around them.  We soak up everything, process it more deeply, and feel it more profoundly.  So if you are finding yourself in toxic situations, or surrounded by pessimistic people, you are going to be internalizing much more negativity than the average person.  It is important to find people and environments which exude positive, accepting energy so that what you are absorbing is hopeful and enriching.

2.       Develop a calming and quiet space to decompress.  

The world is bustling, hectic, chaotic, and loud.  The highly sensitive person is much more likely to become overwhelmed by all the commotion.  It is important for us to create a space that minimizes bright light, noise, and other sensory stimulation so that we can re-center ourselves and give our nerves a break.

3.       Pay attention to yourself.  

Most of us have been led to believe that there is something inherently wrong with us.  But we think and feel more deeply than most, and when we’ve spent so much time trying to change that about ourselves, we learn to ignore what our thoughts, emotions, and bodies are trying to tell us.  If we can tune into ourselves, we can learn to read what our bodies are trying to say.  This will help us do something about it before we become overwhelmed. 

4.       Set and maintain personal boundaries.  

Highly sensitive people are much more in tune with others.  For that reason, it is easy for the HSP to empathize.  It is usually easy for us to fall into the habit of putting others before ourselves.  This can drain our energy ever faster than usual.  Take time to stop and think about what is best for you, and practice and get comfortable saying, “No.”

5.       Practice self-compassion.  

We naturally tune in to, and tend to the needs of others.  As we learn to accept our high levels of sensitivity and tend to our own needs, it might help to remember the upsides to being a highly sensitive person.  We are passionate, intuitive, creative, perceptive, and able to connect more deeply with others.  At times, our hypersensitivity isn’t comfortable, but we can find ways to use it to our advantage.

Kristen Henshaw, a Licensed Professional Counselor Intern at Counseling South Austin under the supervision of Ann Stoneson, LPC-S, specializes in working with highly sensitive people on a variety of issues including self-esteem, coping with environmental sensitivities, childhood trauma/abuse/neglect recovery, dissociation (including DID-Dissociative Identity Disorder), managing anxiety, and caregiver stress. She practices holistic and affirming counseling and welcomes diversity.  Contact her for a free thirty-minute consultation.