This time of year can be a more difficult time than usual for a lot of people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). It’s the time of year when self-care, self-compassion, and coping efforts need to kick into high gear.
Fall is full of holidays that can be difficult for various reasons, depending on your personal history. People may not have treated you well in the past. They may not have treated you with respect and kindness, both of which you deserved then, and you deserve now! Let me assure you – that was on them. It was nothing you did, and it had nothing to do with who you were/are. It was not your fault!
There was nothing you did, or could have done to deserve to be treated badly, cruelly, or abhorrently. Today, though, there are things you can do to ensure you are treated with gentleness and respect –
1 - Start with treating yourself and all of your insiders with compassion, admiration, and tenderness.
You, and all of your insiders played an important role to get you as safely as possible to where you are today. Please remember to say, “Thank you,” even if you didn’t or don’t always understand how each insider is trying to help. Remember, too, to give yourself appreciation and support – don’t forget to include yourself in the list of folks you are thankful for!
2 - Ground yourself in the present.
Some insiders may have not yet found their way to the present. They may feel stuck in a dark and frightening past. Reassure everyone that it is 2016, and that things are very different now, and that you are safe! Practice grounding exercises you have learned, and get as many insiders on board as possible. If no grounding techniques come to mind, visit my prior post on favorite grounding techniques to center yourself into the here and now.
3- Schedule in some fun, and spend time doing something you truly enjoy.
Engage in activities that are safe and healthy, or at least not harmful. Invite everyone to enjoy the experience with you! Make new, safer, kinder, and better memories. You, and everyone inside, has worked hard – and you all have earned some joy this season!
4 - If you find yourself struggling beyond what your learned coping strategies can carry you through, please reach out for help!
There are people who genuinely care about your safety, wellbeing, and happiness. There are people who are willing and wanting to help you find your peace, and a way to appreciate and care for all of yourselves.
Be SAFE! Be WELL this season – and take good care of you and yours!
Kristen Henshaw, a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), is passionate about helping those who have experienced trauma and abuse, and struggle with dissociation including Dissociative Identity Disorder. Her additional specializations include supporting the highly sensitive person navigate through their unique circumstances, those struggling with caregiver stress and burnout, and people grappling with social and generalized anxiety. She offers an affirming environment for members of the Trans and LGBQ+ communities. Contact her for your free 30-minute consultation.