Happy Independence Day: Celebrating Freedom

I always feel excited and thankful when this time of year rolls around.  I feel so privileged to celebrate freedoms that many folks around the globe do not have the same fortune to enjoy.  I am thankful for opportunities, choices, and all the things that many of us take for granted living in this country.

Barriers to Freedom

At the same time, I understand that there are many people here in America struggling to celebrate this holiday.  Many folks feel trapped in their current circumstances or by their past experiences.  Feeling trapped certainly makes it difficult to celebrate a holiday focused on independence and freedom.

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Many experiences can leave us feeling captive and confined.  Maybe you grew up in an environment in which exerting your freedom resulted in unpleasant consequences.  You might have learned early on that making your own decisions was unacceptable and punished in one way or another.  You may still be living in fear of choosing your own direction.  You might have even carried similar relationship expectations into adulthood, finding comparable consequences still result when you try to exercise your freedom to choose what you feel is best for you.

Maybe you realize that all of the hopes and dreams you had as a child or adolescent now seem like a distant and foggy memory.  Life hasn’t turned out the way you expected and you feel stuck and restricted, unable to find joy and fulfillment.  You might have given up on the notion that things can be different, and more in line with what you wanted your life to look like. 

There are so many situations and scenarios that can leave us feeling trapped instead of free. 

Do You Feel Free?

What about you?  How are you feeling this 4th of July weekend? 

-          Are you living the life you always wanted for yourself?

-          Are you enjoying autonomy and the feeling of freedom to be your authentic self?

-          Do you feel trapped by insecurity, stress, worry, or circumstance?

-          Do you feel controlled by others and unable to find your own personal freedom?

Hope

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Don’t give up!  If you’re feeling trapped, stuck, or anything but free – know that there is hope for something different.  You do not have to stay imprisoned by your past or present circumstances.  Things can be different!  It might not be easy - but if you’re willing to hope and willing to work toward your own personal freedom, you can find it.

Kristen Henshaw, a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), specializes in trauma recovery, dissociation, and working with highly sensitive people. Contact her for a free 30-minute consultation.

This Isn’t What I Signed Up For! Career Dissatisfaction in Midlife

Are you feeling stuck in midlife? 

Does your job or career that you were once so excited and hopeful about, now seem to drain your energy, wear you down, and leave you feeling resentful?  Is it difficult to motivate yourself to get out of bed in the morning to return to another day of misery?  Take heart in knowing that you are not alone!  There is a reason that “midlife crisis” gets so much attention.

Youth offers us undeniable optimism.  The future is bright and we have our whole lives ahead of us.  We dream of what our lives are going to look like in 10 years and beyond.  When people asked us what our plans for the future were, or what we wanted to be when we grew up, we had solid answers that we communicated with passion and excitement. 

Then we hit that 10 year, 20 year, or 30 year mark.  The images of how we envisioned our lives don’t match our current situations.  Maybe we haven’t climbed as far up the corporate ladder as we imagined.  Maybe we aren’t making the money we hoped.  Maybe we find that job satisfaction just isn’t what we expected. 

Or maybe things look exactly like what we thought they would, but we still feel unhappy, unsatisfied, and stuck.  You ask yourself, “If this is what I wanted and what I planned for, then why am I so miserable?”  The answers are as unique and varied as we are as individuals.

So what can we do with this midlife job misery?

Know that You Are Not Alone –

About half of people in their 30’s and 40’s feel unmotivated, unfulfilled, and undervalued at work.  Many people in midlife find themselves questioning whether or not they can continue on the same path for the next 20-30 years. 

 

Take stock –

Ask yourself what it is specifically that leaves you feeling so unfulfilled.  Is it the hours, the pay, the people, or the demands?  Is it the career or job itself?  Is it that your wants or needs have changed since you first chose to do what you do (or your job/career chose you)?

It’s Never Too Late –

You have spent years of time and energy working toward where you are right now.  It can seem frightening, or impossible to switch gears or make a change.  If you are feeling stuck or miserable, though, it might help to talk with someone about where you are, where you’re going, and if those things match what you truly want for yourself. 

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”– Steve Maraboli

Kristen Henshaw, a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in south Austin, specializes in midlife concerns, trauma recovery, and dissociation. Contact her for a free 30-minute consultation here.